Why does it always feel like Sunday night. It's one night of the week I really find very uncomfortable. I guess when you spend your entire existence on your own things like this can really get under your skin.
Lonliness has a distinct vibration or feeling about it; at least for me it has. There's this certain wistful and empty space that I am always occupying. And Sunday nights only make it worse.
Of course the sage advisors among us will supply good advice, and not even send a bill, and say you should get out more; mix with people more. Well, yes that's probably good advice but the average individual doesn't want to get into the deep and meaningful things of life or deal with dysfunctional misfits. Apparently I qualify for the latter descriptor. Accordingly people don't want me around. Mind you, it's only fair, I'm not the biggest fan of people who are intollerant of me either. I'm a pitiful conversationalist and have the skill of rubbing people up the wrong way with such ease and rapidity; so the luck of being able to fit in with usual conversation is something that won't come to pass.
The Great Judges of me, will be only too glad and quick, to tell you of my failings, foibles and obnoxiousness. And if you need their phone numbers or email, let me know.
But as I was mentioning before about Sunday nights; and of course it's Sunday night and the usual knawing feeling in the pit of my stomach reminds me of the same feeling I had when I used to start thinking about school the next day, when I was a child; and that, compounded with the torment and violence that masqueraded as my childhood contiually made for a perpetual state of foreboding and worry. And don't you just love the wise-arses that say don't worry. No worries. Then you have the tormenting sociopaths who make it their calling to make your life miserable and painful by either mentally and emotionally sodomizing you or destroying your property or creations or both as was my experiece.
So now the clock has ticked over past midnight and it's Monday morning not Sunday night so I guess the time of my gut-pain and worry has past. Well at least according to the clock.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
"So you want religion do you?"
Organized religion is a fascinating creature. At my time in life now I can understand why so many people hate it, hate God and everything to do with it.
I don't hate God. I stand in awe of him and his plan for his children.
The church I belong to, and very distantly I might add, has the authority to administer the ordinances of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But, and this is my point, I've come to understand that just because people claim to belong to the Lord's church doesn't mean their actions and intentions are as pure as they would verbally belt you about the head that, 'the church is true'. Define 'true' for me gang.
The missionaries are some of the few that appear to live the gospel. They are out teaching and testifying of Christ and his existence and the reason he came to the earth.
But it has been my regrettable experience that if you are not marching lock-step, mentally and administratively with the hierarchy and general membership. God help you if you suffer any problems, because the attitude is, 'Well, obviously you must not be keeping the commandments. So you just have to do better'.
The likes of Australia and the US and the UK are quite suited for this kind of religion. It has a theme of Calvinism that makes the man Calvin look quite tame by comparison. When people accuse Mormons of being un-Christian, it's been my sad experience, that I can only agree. But they're really no different to any other members of churches that become caught up in the day to day 'work'; mind you I've got a lot to say about all the pretenders to the Lord's name, also. The Gospel and its ordinances, it appears, get lost in the labyrinth of policies, practices, procedures and protocols. People and principles are very secondary.
In closing, it has been my regret that I've had to endure some of the absolute worst treatment from some of the people who are members of the church; My ex-wife, a bishop and a branch president (not being the least among those pretenders) who dished out to me some of the worst kind of sociopathic behaviour you could put you mind to. But they'd just laugh at me and simply say, 'Well, what else could you expect from a dysfunctional misfit like him'.
We've all got our demons, but when people use mental and verbal abuse; that is just sick. At one stage of the game I was told I would never be asked to participate at church because I never wore a tie. No worries.
The actions of religionists (and of course all the rest of the various chancers) down through the ages has never been much different. Get into power and use it. I'm sure I'm not the only one who could claim being bullied near to death by people who love to use either religious or personal power to make themselves look or feel good.
I don't hate God. I stand in awe of him and his plan for his children.
The church I belong to, and very distantly I might add, has the authority to administer the ordinances of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But, and this is my point, I've come to understand that just because people claim to belong to the Lord's church doesn't mean their actions and intentions are as pure as they would verbally belt you about the head that, 'the church is true'. Define 'true' for me gang.
The missionaries are some of the few that appear to live the gospel. They are out teaching and testifying of Christ and his existence and the reason he came to the earth.
But it has been my regrettable experience that if you are not marching lock-step, mentally and administratively with the hierarchy and general membership. God help you if you suffer any problems, because the attitude is, 'Well, obviously you must not be keeping the commandments. So you just have to do better'.
The likes of Australia and the US and the UK are quite suited for this kind of religion. It has a theme of Calvinism that makes the man Calvin look quite tame by comparison. When people accuse Mormons of being un-Christian, it's been my sad experience, that I can only agree. But they're really no different to any other members of churches that become caught up in the day to day 'work'; mind you I've got a lot to say about all the pretenders to the Lord's name, also. The Gospel and its ordinances, it appears, get lost in the labyrinth of policies, practices, procedures and protocols. People and principles are very secondary.
In closing, it has been my regret that I've had to endure some of the absolute worst treatment from some of the people who are members of the church; My ex-wife, a bishop and a branch president (not being the least among those pretenders) who dished out to me some of the worst kind of sociopathic behaviour you could put you mind to. But they'd just laugh at me and simply say, 'Well, what else could you expect from a dysfunctional misfit like him'.
We've all got our demons, but when people use mental and verbal abuse; that is just sick. At one stage of the game I was told I would never be asked to participate at church because I never wore a tie. No worries.
The actions of religionists (and of course all the rest of the various chancers) down through the ages has never been much different. Get into power and use it. I'm sure I'm not the only one who could claim being bullied near to death by people who love to use either religious or personal power to make themselves look or feel good.
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About Me
- CrispyDog
- Aspiring dysfunctional misfit. So far I think I'm doing an excellent job. But it's been hard work. However, I'd like to think I possess some redeeming features, such as intolerance of most sports. Killing animals for 'sport/entertainment/fun has to be a very suspect activity. I mean, I really don't get this! I know I'm seen as pretty weird but it is Australia. At least my desire or endeavours are pointed to a better quality of life and living for us here on the planet. Even if I might be as useless as tits on a bull to some of the general sociopathic and narcissitic community.